Our hospital stay thus far!

It's the worst thing in the world wondering if you're baby is gonna be ok. We went to the hospital on March 3rd and they sent us home the 5th saying that it was a very mild case and that she would be ok. Well the 5th was a Saturday and we ended up going back on Sunday night because she was having a hard time breathing. I was soo upset that I wanted to find the Dr. who sent us home and kick him in the head. She has been on oxygen and her respitory rates are wayy to high. It's supposed to be between 30 and 40 and she got all it way up to 100. They have to suck out her nose and throat every couple hours and she hates it soo bad. They stick the tube about 6 inches down and slowly bring it back up. I hate watching her scream and cough and not be able to do anything about it. It sucks more than anything I've ever experienced. She has an IV in her foot and has those stickers on her chest and stomach that moniter her heart rate and lungs. When they put the IV in the very first night that we were here they were also taking blood and I had to sit there and watch as 4 Drs poked her and made her scream. I had to go out into the hall because I started bawling. I never knew how much it could hurt watching my little girl go through this and not be able to help her. She is only 3 months old, she shouldn't have to go through something like this when she is so young. I'm constantly trying to find things to do to distract myself and keep my mind off of the what ifs and the why is this happening to my little girl. I'm debating on having my in laws and my bishop come up and give her a blessing if she doesn't start doing any better. They say that God doesn't hand you anything unless he knows you can handle and I sure hope that he knows that I would not survive if I lost my little girl. I'd go into a deep depression and probably never come out again. I don't know how anybody could go through losing a child and still be ok. My heart and soul goes out to those who have had to go through it. They are a hell of a lot stronger than me. Well, I'm about to burst into tears thinking about the what ifs. Shouldn't have decided to blog. Not a good idea. Gonna go back and be with Bran and Lilly.